hammers and strings

everything is eventual.
doors close and windows open.
sometimes i feel like making my windows into doors.
sometimes i feel like god's on my back,
his scent like rain against the incredible weight of my decisions.
i'm speechless in the times where the loud music fails to drown out the quiet
intensity of the *voice still ringing in my ears.
I'm scared to face the fact that it's simply not the one i expected.
I always fall in love alone, fuck different angles.
This line has been crossed, stomped over, and smothered in all the things that will, simply put, never be. It's bittersweet, it's hope dipped in some tasteless poison. I'm losing my sanity, if not my faith in you, darling.
No soul, no home, nothing to believe in but the notes flooding my ears and pushing through my mouth.
I refuse to fall victim to a green monster as much as I allow myself to trip over my heels in secrecy. Forgive me. But it won't be long before i fly away again.
Wings like a butterfly, face like a pixie.
I need more lullabies, but at least now I've found comfort in a soul miles and miles away.
Furry friends climbing over me like a jungle gym, maybe *it's funny how I relate these things to you. A well kept secret under this smile.
Things start splitting at the seams and now, the whole thing's tumbling down.
Perhaps I won't fall into an ocean of ghosts and skeletons spilling out of that closet. I'm thinking that if my heart fails me this time around,
I have been warned. The cracks will remain like always on a windshield of glass.
My heart isn't a stone. No man is an island.
I want to fall so badly into your wondering arms, full of your sweet words and ideals. I want climb the highest mountain, hold your deepest passions, and die in your arms with your name on my grave. I want to breathe in your artwork and exhale my own. I want the sighs, the eyelids, and everything that success brought them, except character can sustain you.
So everyday is better. I'll close my eyes and forget the weather.
There's only a few more weeks until the summer, those persuasive rays.
A breath of sunshine can mean the world of difference.